Forget the Guilt

Evening ladies (and gents… let’s not be sexist here). I’ve been thinking a fair bit about something lately and I feel like I need to share it with you all. I’ve been making a lot of changes in my life over the last few months. I’m finally learning to drive at twenty eight years old. I’m seeing a chiropractor regularly to correct ten years worth of damage to my back. I’m even working hard to lose the extra pounds I have gained ever since moving in with my boyfriend nearly eight years ago.

These sorts of changes are good. Positive. I feel like I am finally starting to discover how powerful I am as a human being. For a long time I fell into a bad habit of just “letting” things happen, but now, I’m controlling these things. I’m making things happen. I didn’t get here alone – in fact it was quite the opposite. I’ve had a lot of help from a lot of people, books and blogs. Sometimes reading or hearing the right thing at the right time can be all you need to trigger something that changes your life forever.

But it’s so easy to get drowned in all that “self help” junk. Everyone has something to say and a lot of the time it’s not as easy as they say it is to apply their advice to your situation. Sometimes those that need help the most end up rejecting the ‘happy people’ telling them that their life can be great simply due to oversaturation.

Here’s the kicker, though. No one – not even the most enlightened of self help guru’s (despite what they would like you to believe) – is happy ALL the time. It’s just not possible. Sometimes things go wrong. Sometimes we cry. Sometimes we scream. Sometimes it feels like too much. And you know what? That’s okay. Welcome to the human race. The beautiful part is that it’s the lows that help us to appreciate the highs. Without one, the other can’t exist. Without tears, there is no laughter.

The piece of advice that I really want to deliver to you all today is something that I don’t think gets talked about enough. Everyone and their dog will tell you all about relaxing and forgiving and stuff like that, but today, I want everyone reading this to do something outlandishly, unabashedly indulgent for themselves. I’m not kidding. You deserve it. 100%. And do me a favour –


Guilt would probably be the most destructive emotion that I can think of. It’s self deprecating. It comes from within and more often than not, it’s completely unwarranted. YES! You deserve a little treat. YES! You can have that slice of cake. YES! You can leave the dishes for an hour or so and go and take that bubble bath. YOU DESERVE IT! STOP TELLING YOURSELF THAT YOU DON’T!

I really feel that ditching the guilt is a key step to finding peace. Too many women (and men too!) wind up putting themselves last after work and the kids and other obligations and all it really does is make them unhappy. Provided you’re not harming yourself of anyone else, it is OKAY to be a little selfish once in a while. In fact, I’d probably go as far as to say that it’s damn well COMPULSORY.

Do you want to know the most common reason that diets fail? Yep, you guessed it. It’s guilt. Guilt over that skipped workout. Guilt over that extra slice of cake. I see too many women throw their hands in the air and give up because of the guilt over one little slip up. They view the day or the week as a bust and vow to start again next week. Then the same thing happens again next week. And the next. And the next.

I read something recently which said “Your body doesn’t magically reset overnight or at the end of the week” and I love that! Girls, if you break your diet and eat something you shouldn’t, it’s perfectly fine! You don’t need to wait for tomorrow or next Monday to start again! Ditch the guilt and forget it happened! Continue on with your day as if you hadn’t slipped up at all. You’ve got nothing to feel guilty about, trust me.

Never, EVER forget how amazing, beautiful, powerful and most of all WORTHY you all are of everything that you desire. The world can be yours if you let it, so own it.

Guilt free. 😉

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  • I love when you write long text posts (seriously). It inspires me to try and examine my own life and priorities.


    • Kaz

      Thanks Sara 🙂

  • Hot Chili Woman

    Beautiful x

    • Kaz

      Thanks Mel 🙂

  • Jen

    Thank you very much for these lines. I’m not sure I can act on them immediately, but they sure make me think.

    • Kaz

      You’re welcome.

  • L.

    Excellent post!

    • Kaz

      Thanks love!

  • Justasachildof10mightact

    I really love these kind of posts, thanks! Is it hard to learnt to drive? *lol* Are you enjoying it? 🙂

    • Kaz

      You’re very welcome. I love writing them.

      It is actually pretty hard. Probably because I’m a lot older and I realise how dangerous the road can be!

  • Ulmiel

    I want to print this and hang it in my room. I think I will. Thanks so much for this post.

    • Kaz

      I’m so glad you liked it 🙂

  • Kristy

    Great post Kaz, it’s so hard to let go of guilt especially when we are our own worst critics!

    Good luck with the driving – I remember learning to drive…..but i’m sure my husband has blocked it out

    • Kaz

      It takes time and discipline, but each day we can get a little better at appreciating and understanding ourselves!

      Thank you! LOL! I have an instructor – I don’t think my partner would enjoy teaching me to drive!

      • Kristy

        yeah, I don’t think we would have actually got married if I didn’t end up getting an instructor 😉

  • Kaz

    Glad you got something out of it! 😉

  • Kaz

    Thanks love. It’s so scary that wre are quite often our own worst enemy.

  • Kaz

    Exactly! 😀

  • smashbox21

    Wonderful advice.  I’m glad your doing some changes in your life.  Better to do them now while your younger.  I’ve been on diets off & on my whole adult life.  I’m on Weight Watchers now & I’ve lost 100 lbs.  I’ve got so much more to lose.  I don’t follow the plan religiously.  This is the first time I’ve stuck with a diet plan.  I’ve been on it for 3 years.  I haven’t been losing as much as when I first started.  But I’m sticking with it & have kept the weight off instead of quitting & gaining it all back.  I do get lots of good information from posts like your.  It’s so true that guilt really does you in.  Guilt in all parts of your life is a killer.  Congrats on learning to drive.  Glad you have an instructor.  I don’t think a loved one is a good teacher.  They yell at you! Love these type of posts.  Glad you posted again soon.  You have lots of good things to say.  (((hugs)))

    • Kaz

      That’s fantastic! Congratulations on such an awesome change! Always glad to see your kind comments, Lucy. Thank you.

  • What a lovely post Kaz. Just what the doctor ordered! Thank you dearly 🙂

    • Kaz

      You’re welcome, doll!

  • I so needed this.

    • Kaz

      Glad you got something out of it 🙂